It’s been a while since I started uni (a year and a half to be precise) and in that time, I’ve grown a lot as an individual. A lot of things have changed about me and my lifestyle including my goals and dreams in life, my hobbies and interests, my personal convictions and beliefs, and the types of people I’m friends with.
I could easily talk about all of those things and how they changed and why but I personally want to focus on the changing nature of friendships.
Within the past year, I’ve noticed that the people that I used to share an intensely close friendship with no longer contact me or even attempt to keep up with me. Obviously, growing up takes a lot of effort and time and as adults and young adults, we have many responsibilities that keep us busy–that keep us from hanging out and seeing each other. (I know this is something that we all struggle with, including my other friends that have noticed their old friendships fading as well.)
But honestly, there’s a point where it becomes obvious you’re not someone’s priority anymore and it does kind of hurt to realise it*. I thought I was friends with some people because we got along well together, had similar interests. It turns out a large part of the friendship also required us seeing each other at school every week–which obviously doesn’t happen anymore.
But with growing up comes growth, if it wasn’t for me losing friendships or contact with people, I never would have made time to talk and engage with other people I know in my life. Other people from high school that I never previously talked to have somehow become people I feel like I can confide things in (about my insecurities and worries for the future etc.). The people I thought were kind of intimidating to talk to in high school and in university have actually become the coolest and dorkiest people I’ve ever met. I’ve even made contact with old friends from my childhood that I hadn’t even seen or spoken to in more than half a decade!
While losing friendships is a sad part of growing up and life, it can also be a good thing. There are so many cool people out there, it’s ridiculous to think I was closing myself off to talking to other people just to try and maintain friendships that weren’t working out.
I guess the point is that you have to become accustomed to losing friends and that it also shouldn’t be something you fear. As people always say, “when one door closes, another one opens”.
* Upon writing this, I realised I was putting the blame solely on my other friends for not maintaining any form of contact with me. The fact is that friendships are a two-way commitment and I should’ve also tried harder to keep in touch.
This article has been cross-posted on to the ENID Network.
The featured image in this article is from here.